Dear Dave + April.....A Tuesday Series.

{working on our marriage one week at a time}

dear dave,

we need to talk. we need to figure a few things out. i feel so bad when I add to your work load with funky vintage lovely. and when you are stressed you are not quiet about it. you are vocal and i know you are supportive, but when you are vocal and stressed it doesn't come out as supportive and sometimes it makes me feel really bad that i have to ask you for some help even though i know that you want to help. Sometimes i seriously think that it is all wrong timing. that i should be there...more for you instead of asking for more of you. i'm torn and i know that your response will be that i'm being silly and that you are proud of my business and growth and that you want to help, but we need to figure out how to be positive during those stressful weeks before a market of managing two businesses and two children and maintaining respectful communication because it is no fun getting really excited to be involved with something only to have to be nervous to add to your work load. i know we tried really hard to manage our time better before this last market, but honestly, we just don't have enough time in the day to get it all done. we talked for weeks about what still needed to be done, yet couldn't get to it until crunch time. and crunch time is no fun with you. some people thrive on crunch time (like me) but you don't and I don't want to do that to you anymore. i wish this could be our full-time job together. your text the other day that said 'we are so much better together than apart' is so true. we get along better when we are able to spend more time together. that isn't true for some couples. i love that about us. it's like we get into a rhythm that is easy. working side by side with you is wonderful and I wish we could do it more often. but right now i need to know what more you need from me to make it easier for me to be happy with FVL and be ok asking for your help. any ideas?

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Dear April,

I don't want our stressful times to be stressful within our marriage. I think it is human nature to spaz out when you're tired and run down and have a million things to do and it's 11:30.....P.M. Maybe sometimes I say things I don't mean when I'm tired. I'm sorry it makes you feel bad. FVL is important to you and so it is important to me. You've spent the last five years supporting me in my dream business and now it is time for me to support you in yours. Actually, I don't mind "crunch time." I like it. It is what drives me. The reason it has drove me crazy is that I have had more than one crunch time going at once. I want to help you but when I have nothing left it's hard to push through. So yes we need to talk. How about a dinner date? How does next Thursday at 8:45 sound? I'm booked this week with crunch times. Put me on your busy calender. Maybe send me a twitter. How about using that very pricey curling iron next Thursday! Until then, let's continue to dream of one day working side by side building things for FVL. I love you.

Love,
Dave

We are working on crunch time. Day-to-day we've got down. But late nights, early mornings, pressure from work....it happens from time to time and it takes more effort and awareness of how we WANT to treat each other versus how we ARE treating each other. Still growing. Still a work in progress. And that is OK. As sweet as 'easy' sounds....we kind of think 'easy' might be boring! At least that is what we tell ourselves.