Mom, Can I Have A Facebook? {repeat 1000 times}

Kaia has been asking for a Facebook page for some time now. It was easy before she turned 13. Facebook's rule is you have to be 13 to have a Facebook page. I follow the rules. Especially when they benefit my agenda. She couldn't argue it much. She tried but I just kept referring back to The Rules.

In August Kaia turned 13. She has asked {over 1000 times I'm sure} if now she can have a Facebook page. I drag my feet with kids and technology. Maybe not as much as others, but I do hesitate. When Kaia got a cell phone, she had to wait one whole year before texting was added to it. And I ate my words when we added the text plan because I was adamant that our family would not be a texting family. There are pros + cons to texting and I am a fan now. Not a huge fan...but a fan. I just feel that as a parent some control is lost when our children text vs. picking up the phone and have a conversation. Hearing that conversation, the direction it is going, the tone and words used in those conversations. Not to mention the lost art of conversing. That's a whole other topic. But while we are talking kids, cell phones + texting we do have some rules with regard to that topic.

Rule Number 1. Never text while an adult is talking to you. If an adult is talking to you, you should be looking them in the eye.

Rule Number 2. Cell phone gets placed on kitchen counter at 9:00 pm. You shouldn't be texting or talking on the phone after that time. You should be trying to go to sleep.

Rule Number 3. No texting boys {you like} first. They must text you first, then you can respond. The same rule applied in my home, but with the phone. I was never allowed to call a boy. I could talk to boys if they called me, or return their phone call if I wasn't home but I was never to call a boy first. My mom always said, 'If a boy like YOU he will call.' I'm not sure I entirely believe that statement, but I don't want my girl bugging a boy that isn't interested in her.

Rule Number 4. You are never allowed to delete texts without our approval. If we pick up your phone {while it is on the counter after 9:00 pm} to check content of texts, because we are the parents and are allowed to do that, and texts are erased, the phone is taken away. If texts need to be deleted for space, come and get approval.

Rule Number 5. Never 'play text' with another person's cell phone. This happened to Kaia a few weeks ago. Actually it is happening even with her friends and is NOT OK with me. Note to self...make new rule number 6....use a password on your phone. A boy grabbed Kaia's phone, sent out a random text to everyone that said, "hey sexy". Problem was, it went to our employee. Kaia has his number in her phone for emergencies and it was completely inappropriate and embarrassing. It was a good lesson for Kaia and I wish other parents would take more time to teach their children cell phone etiquette.

Now with regards to the title of this blog...."Mom, Can I Have a Facebook?'. We caved last night. I got sick of hearing the question really. And while caving I decided that with the responsibility of being online, would come a new set of rules. So we had a mini Family Home Evening lesson last night where our family talked about safe and clean online practices. We then signed a Family Safe + Clean Media Pledge. It can be found here. It is wonderful and brought about a wonderful discussion in our home last night using 'what if' scenarios.

Only Rule in addition to the ones listed in the Clean + Safe Media Pledge that we signed is....With the exception of family members, Kaia is not allowed to request friends that are adults. If an adult requests her as a friend, and she knows them, then she can accept.

So Kaia is the proud new owner of a Facebook Page and she is beaming. She has also earned it with a great attitude of helping around the house. I told her when she has a good attitude and is pleasant to be around, it really does make us want and feel like doing nice things for her too!