Cheese Crisp Fiasco

It all started when I was asked to bring a "signature dish" to a holiday party. Ummm. I don't have one of those. So, I picked up a holiday cookbook and started looking. Mind you, I don't cook much. At all. But, I found this recipe:

and thought I'd found my signature dish. Look! Simple ingredients.

Last night around 11, I was going to make a batch. But, I discovered the need for the cheese to be "softened." So, I put off the baking until the morning. I should have known then that I was doomed. A foreshadowing of things to come.

This morning, I got the cheese out for softening. After the desired softness had been achieved, I looked for my cheese slicer. Couldn't find it. Steak knife? Not a good idea. Bread knife? Better than nothing.

Desired thickness, 1/4" huh?

I couldn't find a 1 1/2 round cookie cutter. This melon baller worked pretty good. Improvisation. No problem!

Yes. I took pictures. I thought it was going to be a wonderful signature dish and I just knew I was going to want to share my adventure/recipe with you! Check these out:

I'm thinking all is well. I went with 10 minutes and didn't take a peek until 10 minutes was up. Mistake. Here's what I saw when I opened the door to my 17 year old, uneven cooking oven:

Uh. A crispy, burned, sizzling, greasy, drippy, fire hazard, cheese fiasco. This picture does not do justice to the smoke emitting from my oven as the grease attempted to burn itself off the bottom. I guess maybe the cookie sheet might have been better if it had lips. Like a roasting pan! Watch out. It got on my wood floors next.

If one tries to scrape burned, greasy cheese off a hot pan with a plastic spatula, they will find that plastic spatulas melt.

If one tries to be overly cautious, they might end up with cheese gooey, instead of cheese crisps. Is anyone feeling healthy about this greasy goo?

I had left over cheese so, I tried to make the cut up left over pieces into tasty cheese crisps without proper form.

This is what happens when you go to update status on facebook and forget about the cheese in the oven. Everything tastes like burned grease.

Dear people. There will be no Mindy's Signature Dish at the Holiday Party. Nuts. Mindy will be bringing nuts. Cashews? Almonds? Maybe a nice mixed assortment. Or perhaps, cubed, cold, firm monterey jack cheese?

Now, for what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving. This year, I am thankful for the sound of laughter. My mother's laughter. My mother laughed like I had not heard in years when I told her the Cheese Crisp story. See? It was all worth it.

Happy Thanksgiving my friends and family.
~Mindy